A Family In Crisis.
Family Values
The value system of helpers has a crucial influence on the formulation and definition of the problems they see in a family, the goals and plans for therapy, and the direction the therapy takes. Helpers have their own values pertaining to marriage, the preservation of the family, divorce, same-sex marriages, gender roles and the division of responsibility in the family, adoption of children by same-sex couples, child rearing, and extramarital affairs. Helpers may take sides with one member of the family against another; they may impose their values on family members; or they may be more committed to keeping the family intact than are the family members themselves. Helpers who, intentionally or unintentionally, impose their values on a couple or a family can do considerable harm. Wilcoxon, Remley, and Gladding (2012) maintain that therapists who work with families need to be aware that their personal values are significant aspects of their professional work, and they caution therapists to avoid imposing their values on clients. It is not the helper’s role to decide how members of a family should change. The role of the therapist is to help family members see more clearly what they are doing, to help them make an honest evaluation of what their present patterns are, and to encourage them to make the changes they deem necessary. Consider the following case examples.
Case example:
A Family in Crisis.
A wife, husband, and three adolescent children come to your office. The family was referred by the youngest boy’s child welfare and attendance officer. The boy is acting out by stealing and is viewed as the problem person in the family.
The husband is in your office reluctantly. He appears angry and unapproachable, and he lets you know that he doesn’t believe in this “therapy stuff.” He makes excuses for the boy and says he doesn’t see that there is much of a problem, either in the marriage or in the family.
The wife tells you that she and her husband fight a lot, that there is much tension in the home, and that the children are suffering. She is fearful about what might happen to her family. She has no way of supporting herself and her three children and is willing to work on the relationship
Your stance.
- How would you be affected by this family?
- What course of action would you take?
- How would your values pertaining to family life influence your interventions with this family? Would you expose your own values in this case, even if the family members did not ask you?
- If they asked you what you thought of their situation and what you thought they should do, what would you say?
Self-Reflection
It is imperative to remain mindful of the power inherent in your professional role at all times. Even if you are careful not to impose your values in working with this family in crisis, what you say is likely to be influenced by your core values. If you believe the wife should be more assertive with her husband in this situation, you might encourage her to challenge him. Such a strategy could endanger the relationship, and you must be mindful of the anger issues between the parents and how this may escalate. A key task for this counselor is to find ways to encourage the father to participate and to engage the whole family in the therapy experience.
